I don't want to give away the ending, but... This post is about poop.

Ok. So, there's all kinds of classifications of parenting. Weird, right? I guess I fall into the "crunchy" category. I don't know. Maybe like, gritty? Yeah, let's say gritty.
 Anyways, I use cloth diapers. On my baby, that is. (They actually make cloth diapers for adults, but I HIGHLY recommend that you DO NOT, at ANY COST, Google that.) Cloth diapers have evolved a LOT in the last few years. Look it up, it's pretty neat. No pins, plastic pants, or the like. Fun stuff. I'm saving money, yada yada yada. It's gone so well, I decided to even use cloth swim diapers. To save money even further, I got the ones at Target, I think the brand is 'I Play,' or something like that. At $9.00 a pair, they were totally economical. Guess what? Saving money isn't everything, it turns out.
 So, these diapers don't have side tabs. Not a big deal, I typically can see when Evie is about to get down to business, so I didn't think much of it. WRONG.
 Ok, so every morning, from about 8:30-10, I take all the kids (mine plus all that I watch) out in the backyard to play in the sprinkler and run around before the South Texas sun rays of death come out. When we come inside, we have a routine. The kids stand on a towel inside the door, and I remove their wet clothes, and wrap them in a towel, and send them to the living room where dry clothes and diapers await. The older ones can do this all unassisted, but obviously, the younger ones need help.
 Evie's turn to take her wet swim diaper comes up. She faces me, grabs my legs to hold on to, and I bend down, and proceed to pull the diaper down.




POOP. Not just regular poop, either, This is poop that has run through the sprinkler, so it's half liquefied. It came SHOOTING out of the back of this diaper. A shit fountain. A geyser of goo. It shoots out onto the wall behind her, the towel below her, and all over my forearms. Horrifying. I couldn't help but let out a shriek of disgust, which in turn scared her, so she was trying to get away from me, with the diaper halfway down her legs, with poop going EVERYWHERE. I managed to get her into the tub, and get it cleaned up before the other small ones got into it (um, yuck?), so I will, this time, chalk it up as a win..?


I will say, until removal, the diaper did it's job, and held in 100% of her offerings. However, I'm gonna have to go with the doubly expensive swim diaper that comes with snap openings. Also, bleach. Lots and lots of bleach.

Been awhile...

Forgive me, Readers, for I have sinned. It's been a loooong time since I last blogged. I've had a helluva case of writer's block, coupled with lack of sleep (Evie's still into night time parties), and a bad habit of having kick-ass ideas at night, but not writing them down. What can I say? The Tempurpedic sings the song of my people.
  A lot has changed. I have two new babies I watch. They're both some pretty awesome girls! Well, crap. I guess that's really the only thing that's changed. Whatevs.
I'm still having some writer's block, so, I'm just gonna list some things I've noticed when watching more than two babies in diapers.



1. Like women synching menstrual cycles, babies sync bowel movements. Not kidding. I noticed it back when I worked in daycare, and my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm 98.76% sure that this is a real thing, guys. (I'm also 99.74% sure that I like making up statistics.) It never fails. Every day, I give them lunch, then wait 10 or so minutes, and BOOM. Paint starts peeling. Pretty sure trash guys hated me until they got the automated claw-thingy.


2. Little girls are dramatic, and territorial. Nick and Jojo were NEVER like this. But, bust out some Bunny Grahams with these girls? The claws come OUT. Doesn't matter that everyone is having the SAME THING. They will kill each other to take the other's Bunnies.


3. The more you discourage eating the sand in the sand box, the more they do it. Now, we avoid eye contact, they do their thing, and decide for themselves that Bunny Grahams > sand.


4. Sand poops are rough. Literally.


5. I need to stop trying to reason with toddlers. You'd think I would already know that.


6. Weenie dogs make awesome dustbusters. I thought I wanted a lab, but Lily can fit under the table.


Feel free to add your own!




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