My end of conversations with kids

I haven't blogged in awhile, sorry. I've been trying to do some "recon." I've been paying close attention to the conversations I have with Hannah, and the little boy I sit for (name withheld, because hey, it's the interwebz.) Could you imagine if these things were being said to other adults?

"Can you guys just go away, and let me wipe my bottom ALONE?"
"Don't pull on those knobs! Those are Lily's (the dog) nipples!"
"I understand that you have a booboo, but, I'm not kissing one THERE."
"If you would just stop touching it, you wouldn't have to worry about it feeling funny." (Little Guy is going through a touching himself phase.)
 "Yes, you and Daddy have the same boobies."
 "No cars in your underwear."
 "What did you just do with that booger?"
 "Because it's magic, that's why."
 "I know this soda has ice, but really, it's super spicy."
 "You can't just ask random neighbors for snacks when we go for a walk. We only do that on Halloween."
 "Does the backyard LOOK like a toilet?"
 "I asked the dolphins. They said they are super excited you're coming."
 "Do we put that in the toilet? No. Only poop, pee, and toilet paper."
 "Please leave him alone. I promise, he is NOT one of Santa's helpers."
 "I know YOU know why you were in time out. And, yes, part of it IS because I told you to go there. But, I want to make sure you actually know why you went, so tell me something besides, 'Because you told me to.' "
 "Yes, it does look like a piñata, and piñatas ARE super fun to hit, but, it is NOT a piñata, and if you see one outside, without a party going on, DON'T hit it."
 "WHY is there a toothbrush in your hair?"
 "Don't let this water get in your mouth. Do you have any idea how much pee is probably in this pool??"
 "Have I ever NOT fed you?? Then stop telling people that!"

There's a ton more, I just forget to write them down sometimes.